It's been a Veeeeerrryyy Long Time....

Because as of this instant, this question popped in my head, "Why did I suddenly stopped blogging?"

I discovered Wattpad, for one.

And Summer Term was just soooo freakin' tiring!

NSTP this, and NSTP that.

Exams would occupy my mind,

Reports....

Waaahhhh!!!!

Anyways, it is still an assurance that I would still be writing entries here, because it's more private, and I can talk err write almost about anything without being reprimanded or the other one. :)

YEP. It's like I'm telling it to NOBODY and I love it!

I can go on blabbing about events of my life, not expecting someone to read them, but at least, hey, I've let them out.

I've been working on this story since the Summer Break. And too bad though, my editing skills were just, non-existent. :(

FEBRUARY 14

The phantom striked! But so does Accounting.

This day, February 14th, is the most complicated day of my life!

Best and worst rolled into one.

Let us start with the best.

Since it is Valentines, I, being a hopeless romantic, enjoyed watching love being felt the whole day!

And I hanged out with friends, our objective to shrug off reality and just enjoy every moment as they pass.

It was totally fun, I sang and shouted and laughed.

♪♪♪ Vindicated, Famous Last Words, Decode, Unfaithful, No Promises ♪♪♪

Worst part is:

I still failed.
Maybe the effort that I've thrown into it just wasn't enough?
Or maybe I myself am not enough?

DEPTALS!

Ikukuwento ko lang ang nangyari sa buong araw na ito.

Na-late ako ng gising.

Supposed to be, mag-riring ang phone ko ng 3:30, para may time pa ako to review for a bit, then to get ready.

Ang nangyari, fail ang aking alarm system.

Bakit?

Because it is freakin' Sunday!

Anak ng kamalasan talaga!

Nag-very-fast shower mode ako, at tinakbo ko papuntang school, with reading impairment loss accounting on the side.

My day started with a disaster, and sadly, I've already forced myself to accept the idea that THE WHOLE day might become a disaster as well.

Now, here I am, musing things.

Grabe pala.

ANG MALAS KO!

3 Days before Deptals

And the first day of the Official Exams.

Cramming pala ang tawag sa pagrereview a day before the exams.

All these years, nagcramming lang ako!!!!


Lint*k na History yan! haha...

Ang hirap, grabe!
Sadista yata si sir, kasi na eenjoy pa niya yung soooper COOL na exam niya!
What the!!!!

Walang interesting sa buhay ko, sa classmate ko meron.

Like for example, ang bagsik ni Macario!!! To think that he requested kay sir na itabi siya kay Mae!!! Hahaha.... Ito namang si Mae, mukhang hindi pa sure! Oh well, tingin ko rin, hindi siya yung tipo na pinepressure.

Hankyuut talaga, grabe,.
Made my day.

Oh, and last... Block 10 ako.

4 Days before Deptals

And also our Part 2 exams...

Sabi ko nga, Part 2 exams namin, and I’m freakin’ nervous!!

Pero, after a while, it seemed as if my nerves are trying to help me, they calmed down.

Results: Hindi ko lang ma-determine kung fail ba ‘yung exam ko or ayos lang. Anyhoo, may nasagot naman ako, kahit papano. Please let me pass.

At ngayon nga, naisingit ko pa to sa dami ng irereview sa History2!
Naku!!!

A/N: Angel Beats Soundtrack (My Soul, Your Beat)

9:30 PM: Why does the Naruto series kill a lot of sensei’s? The Third, then Asuma, then Jiraiya. Even though I’ve already watched it before, I’m still bawling. 

5 Days before Deptals

Ayoko pang pumasok eh!!!

Did nothing, really.

Sa Lit, discussion, sa Philo, discussion?, sa Histo, discussion, at sa Theo, discussion pa rin.

Oh, wait! May pangyayari pala noong Theo, aha.

Crush ni Marlowe Macario si Mae Phelyn Gaudia! Oha, ano???

Sorry talaga si Marlowe pero, alam na ni Mae, pretend lang kami na hindi niya alam. Kinukulit ko siya kung may chance ba ang pobre, at mukhang napuyat nga sa kaiisip an gating isa pang pobrecita. Shocked pa raw siya eh, hahaha. Development? Well, the usual, friends na sila sa Facebook. Ang saya! Tawa ako ng tawa dun… Yeah, it’s better to think of something that exists although it is not for me. Than the inexistence of something that should’ve been mine.

Accounting?

Nagreview naman ako!!! (Defensive?)

From 7 siguro, until 12…

Bale, ‘yung chapter 12, tapos 13-23 ako tumigil sa problems.

Naka- 4 episodes pa nga yata ako ng Naruto eh. Kailangan kasi ng pang-balance.

6 Days before Deptals

Sunday!!! I’m doing good lazing around!!!

7 Days Before Deptals

Actually, kahapon 'yung 7 days, ngayon, 6 days na lang.
P.E. kahapon, aish! Bakit ako nagtagalog? Sige na nga lang.
Exam dapat sa P.E., hindi ako nag-review. Ang saya ko ano?
Luckily, hindi 'yun natuloy. I was saved! Haha.
Then there was ever-frustrating I.T.
Buti na lang walang next-frustrating Econ.
I also didn't work on the invitation letter, and
Luckily (ULIT), hindi naman pala iyon assignment.
This must be my lucky day! And a happy one at that.
I got my way on annoying people,
Hmmm.

Still, no development on Accounting.
Kailan ko kaya siya mamahalin?
Ay, haha.. Pasensiya na... May like akong iba.
I mean, for the first time in like 4 years, nagka-crush ulit ako ng bonga!
Hindi ko nga lang siya kilala.
Why am I muttering about this things.

8 Days Before Deptals

Nothing much.
Hmmm. Let's see.

Aside from what had happened in the morning, everything went well.

Thammar's outburst during lunch time.

How I ache for her, and how I curse that guy!!! He is so despicable to the nth degree!!!

But then, disgusting it may be, that was still a part of life that I might have to experience too. Among other things.

If only men could sort out their feelings better than us, women.
It's not as if, love is just around the corner, that it is very easy to turn back.
It is the most widely used word, yet the hardest thing to explain.
"Nagmamahal kasi, kaya nagpapatawad." 

I attended a review class on Accounting, under Mrs. Santos' supervision, and...

IT WAS AWESOME!

To be able to experience learning from a different teacher is definitely a must!Too bad, it all ended after 2 hours only. If only it could have been longer.

What about my review?
Still no development.
Nope.
No.
Iye.

Guide me on my way home.

9 Days Before Deptals

I watched A Moment to Remember.

Been nosy with my boardmate.

Slept.

Read History.

Thought of reviewing, not doing.

Depressed? Barely.

I didn’t really work hard.

I know I didn’t.

I have to keep those words in mind to hold on to my sanity, because God knows how I really want to start blaming the whole world for my misfortunes, or whatever you call them.

I only have the right to blame me, not my instructor, not my friends, not destiny, and definitely not God.

For a year now, I’ve been asking what I lack. I’m comprehensive, if there is such a word, I listen, I review, I cram, I sometimes read ahead of class, but that would be rarely, since the subject itself  rarely interests me too. Yeah, I’m at my limits.

I’m in despair.

And as a matter of fact, I’m really, really annoyed.

And that idea annoys me all the more.

It’s crazy! I’m crazy!

Madness to the nth degree.

Desperation is gnawing my insides, and it hurts like hell.

I’m telling myself not to wallow in self-pity but that won’t do, because I’m every inch a human, and that is but normal.

To have my self-esteem crushed into bits, my future shatter right in front of my eyes.

And the things that cause me to see red is that, I allowed it.

I did nothing!

Not devote myself to this effin’ subject, not try to at least learn.

I only do what I do the best, I divert myself to things that are in every way the opposite of what I should have done and what I should be doing.

And now, I come face to face with the materialization of my very own version of REGRET.

Yeah, I’m so sorry for myself. My poor little stupid girl self.

And the last statement didn’t even make sense, much like my own state at the present.

Awww. Life sucks. I know.

The uhm… note above just shows how depressed I am.